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Showing posts from 2014

It’s been 20 minutes, and I miss you already.

Sometimes love happens, even to the most disbelieving. I always thought it was a deliberate action where we condition our minds, hearts and bodies to be.

Four failed relationships later, I know better now. Maybe we can’t be held responsible for our emotions – or, can we?

Today I had a discussion with a female colleague in the ladies’ locker for half an hour while she preened her already flawless makeup. She said something so simple, and yet so profound. At 32, she’s a beautiful and accomplished lady; and on discussing being single she just asked me, why I let the world get to me. Let the world believe what is wants – I don’t always have to answer to the world. I need to stop making excuses for the lack of a relationship.

This lead me to think someone I know who fell in love with someone who was already in a committed relationship. What started as harmless flirtation, a fling by all means, turned in to a full blown romance that lasted over six months. I asked her if she knew she was …

28 Things I would Tell Myself at 18!

As my twenties are fast dwindling, and I turn 28 (brave, smiley face) this month, I thought of compiling a list of 28 things I would have told my 18-year old self. The last ten years have been unnecessarily educational, fattening, and gravity has introduced itself to parts of my body. If I were to meet my 18-year old self, I will probably hold myself by the hand and go to the nearest salon; I was three hairs away from a perfect unibrow.

Apart from that, I will offer myself advice – I might not call it that, knowing me, I am prone to doing the exact opposite of the advice proffered. Though I would be mildly shocked at hearing the following.

1. Sexual healing will always be the song I will run to the dance floor for no matter the time of day or situation. It is, and will always be my absolute favourite song – can I make it my song for my first dance at my wedding? It could be absolutely anywhere or in any circumstance, when I hear Marvin Gaye singing this song, I turn in to Beyonce and …

Ten Challenges Single Girls Face Everyday!

I was thinking today that I have nine friends who got married this year; that’s almost a wedding every month of the year – that’s a lot of weddings; that’s a lot of celebrations (and a lot of rich wedding suppliers) and a little less people who are single left in the world.

Before I begin I must confirm that it is not all bad being single; it’s not what they show in the movies where the single girl mopes around the house all day in nightwear, eating cereal at all times during the day except for the time it is intended for; un-brushed hair or/and teeth; theatrically posed with tissue in hand, dabbing gently at the tear from the corner of her eye waiting for Prince “Too Late” Charming to make an appearance. (I do brush my teeth and occasionally dance alone in my room with the music so loud the glass panels reverberate – and sleep, a lot – you must be single to fully comprehend the beauty of sleeping, undisturbed, knowing there is no one to interrupt.)

Just as marriage and relationships…

Take Me To The Other Side

I like to think that no woman blossoms in to what is known as ‘the other woman’. Every little girl envisions a perfect family pod when she hosts tea parties in her doll house (Or most, because I dreamed of guns and toy soldiers). Somewhere between adolescence and adulthood, women choose to settle for less. I use the word ‘pod’ here because I am reminiscent of this round toy that opened up to miniature house that held micro-mini dolls that a lot of girls in school had that I could not afford, but in my seven year old mind that was the ultimate trophy family.

Last month, I spoke about how some people can be in love with two people at the same time – I could not forget some of the conversations I had with the person in concern. This got me thinking about the women who to choose to be on the other side.

Let’s not forget the multitude of women who go through life in blissful ignorance of their husband’s philandering ways for years; scrubbing lipstick stains off shirt collars and accepting…

In Love with Two

As I say these words in my head, it sounds so wrong. The “old” me would not even want to discuss such notions, for me to admit to such would be like crossing a labyrinth. This month, I am going to treat you to the flip-slide: switching gears, I needed to understand how our male counterparts feel on such trying situations. I was amazed with what I found.

You ask, is it possible to be in love with two people at the same time? Yes. I believe you can be.

I remember reading somewhere about a woman who had two husbands whom she loved ‘equally’; one was her college sweetheart whom she married in her early 20s and the other was her husband whose intellect, passion and ambition she desired. The former represented her formative years and the latter her metamorphosis from naïve to the other extreme. When asked if she could pick one she loved the most, she declined saying that she loved them both, what was repulsive and astounding was that both men were happy with this ‘agreement’.

In my late tee…

A One Year Stand

On completing a year of being single in July, I realized that I am no longer that dreamy-eyed naïve dumpling I was in my early 20s. I believed in love far more as a teenager than I do now. I realized that when my friends’ teenage dreams consisted of having multiple steamy necking (do they even use that word anymore?) sessions with the ‘jocks’ of their time and seducing the said jocks by licking ice cream off a cone in a seductive way, mine was to fall in love, marry my first boyfriend, have 2.5 kids, own a family-esque Volvo SUV and a Labrador. As to not marrying my first my first boyfriend, I am thankful for small mercies; as to having two kids, I am thankful for bigger mercies bestowed upon me; as for falling in love, I’d rather catch pneumonia.

In all honesty, I have loved three men of whom I only fell in love with one of them. For those readers who are counting their fingers and frowning, I did not necessarily have relationships with the three men mentioned above. This year, I als…

Have I told you lately how much I stalk you?

It is June already! Half the year has escaped me.

The other day, I found myself wanting to know more about someone who seemed ‘interesting’. No problem-o. Thanks to Google+, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook and LinkedIn, I managed to ascertain information about his dress sense, smoking habits, his affinity to BBHs (Big bootie – imagine the rest), know in advance that he has bad legs and imagined his remuneration. Am I still interested? Hell, no. Certainly not after seeing a profile picture of him drunk, giving the photographer the middle finger.

I love social media.

It has spared me hours of my life, stopped me from wasting precious hours on meaningless dates where I have to pretend to like healthy food on the menu and order a salad; it has helped ease phone bills with endless ‘hello, I am cute, nice and wife-able’ text messages and did not deprive me of sleep like when I was 17 and stayed up until 1:00 AM until the parents were in dreamland to speak to boys I fancied on the land phones.

Vulnerability - turn on or off? Let's talk about that.

In continuing with my ‘wish list’ for Prince (barely) Charming, I discovered another attribute that I would want my partner to possess. I remembered a friend who secretly confessed that she fell out of love when she unraveled different shades of her partner. Let me elaborate.

She liked them mean, arrogant, dominant – sure enough, she snapped one from the smoldering, rarely-smiled kind from the pack. She was attracted to him, she envisioned a future together; it was perfect – he was rarely known to forgive. Until – a few weeks in to their relationship, it turned out that he was Yogi bear in a business suit (and pants, most importantly). He was vulnerable, needy and judging by how he appeared to the world in general, a good actor. The relationship ended a few days after she confronted him explaining why it could never work.

This got me thinking about how I would love the very things she despised. Wouldn’t you?

I would love a man who appeared to be the face of arrogance; someone who woul…

Order for One Prince Charming, Please!

The more time I pass as a single girl, the more time I have had to reflect on my relationships, failed, flopped or mysteriously disappeared.

As I approach the 28th (bleugh) year of life and having been single for a greater part of it, I noticed that every now and then I compile a mental list of what I expect in Prince (barely) Charming. Is it strange that my concept of love and marriage has always been the same since I was 15? I know many who seem to think that my notions are far too idyllic and rosy; they seem to think that love and mush does not last beyond the second year of marriage.

So, here is the beginning of my wish list – I may not get this in its entirety, but at least I have a blue print to guide me through.

I want a man who would love watching me sleep. NOT in the manner of a chainsaw murderer or that clown-killer who says ‘Why so serious?' Won't it be great to have someone who knows you drool in your sleep, and somehow locks his arm so that your head would not til…

Cheater, Cheater, Pumpkin Eater

When was the first time I thought about love? I would have been twelve years old. At that age, despite having most of my peers resort to varied methods of hair removal, I turned to nature conservation: I maintained a mini Amazon on my legs as razors were locked away; even masking tape at times.

At twelve, I could barely contain my enthusiasm to leave school to have a boyfriend. Back then, having a “boy” or “friend”; or a combination was a carnal sin; everyone knows that. So, the agreed “age” according to ‘The Mother’ was nineteen, which was a constant moving target.

Right. Enough with the nostalgia. The real reason I decided to delve in to relationships is because of the horror stories I hear from the people around me.

When did relationships turn out to be the Steven Spielberg movie it is today? If you do not already know what I am talking about, please, no, really, stop and smack yourself with a hard/sharp object. Relationships, for some have turned in to a tumult that
deals with c…

How Well Do You Wear Your Crown?

So, after the Disney princes piece, I was asked by a few to only be fair and write about the Disney princesses who have not only charmed their ways in to our lives, but provided us with tact, ingenuity, and better role models than the present day pop icons.

I remember being seven years old and being the victim of peer-pressure; this was in its cruelest forms. Everywhere I looked in my class was the signature Barbie pink bags, or Barbie stationery or Lisa Frank accessories. I was not allowed to have one because my parents, a. probably had better things to do with limited resources; b. wanted to teach me the concept of life; c. did not like me. Anyway, getting back to the topic, my peers were always able to charm their way in to their fathers’ hearts and got anything they wanted. Be it Barbie themed stationery, Nike trainers at nine years, parties at the then famed Pizza Hut – they had it all. This had me wondering – who influenced this un-Freudian like behavior?

How was it that some ‘…

Are You a Colombite? (Pronounced Column-bite) - A journey to discover your beginnings in just 20 points.

I could not imagine living anywhere other than Sri Lanka; we are a weird, beautiful and complex populace. We are said to have descended from India, repeated colonization over the centuries have ‘spiced’ our heritage; patriots the nation over cling on to this illusive concept of “Sri Lanka” being a single nationality, I think it’s rather silly - a Sri Lankan cannot be defined without bringing together many cultures, beliefs, and ethnicities.

While walking down Galle Road recently, I was privy to many conversations; from discussions about one’s inefficient daughter-in-law, to another’s phone battery dying mid-way into a conversation with her boyfriend, to yet another whose son has problems listening to his parents. We are a funny lot, aren’t we? We don’t just air out dirty laundry; no, we are eons ahead, we publicly announce that we are short of detergent, beg for some, do the laundry and expect to use the neighbour’s dryer.

This had me imagining how it would be if we had a tribal syst…