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Showing posts from June, 2014

Have I told you lately how much I stalk you?

It is June already! Half the year has escaped me.

The other day, I found myself wanting to know more about someone who seemed ‘interesting’. No problem-o. Thanks to Google+, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook and LinkedIn, I managed to ascertain information about his dress sense, smoking habits, his affinity to BBHs (Big bootie – imagine the rest), know in advance that he has bad legs and imagined his remuneration. Am I still interested? Hell, no. Certainly not after seeing a profile picture of him drunk, giving the photographer the middle finger.

I love social media.

It has spared me hours of my life, stopped me from wasting precious hours on meaningless dates where I have to pretend to like healthy food on the menu and order a salad; it has helped ease phone bills with endless ‘hello, I am cute, nice and wife-able’ text messages and did not deprive me of sleep like when I was 17 and stayed up until 1:00 AM until the parents were in dreamland to speak to boys I fancied on the land phones.