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Showing posts from April, 2015

Flirty or Friendly?

Flirty or Friendly? Are you confused by these two verbs? Do they mean the same thing to you? Read on.

I admit to being utterly baffled by them. Since when did they become interchangeable? I need to constantly check myself when I say something intended as a joke because the last thing I want is to appear ‘loose’ or worse yet, ‘cheap type of flirty’.

Once, a friend was at a cocktail and conversation struck with a stranger who also happened to be in architecture. ‘Nice smile’, she noted to herself ‘Too bad he’s standing too close so I can’t quite see his tush’. They discussed an eminent building project many architectural firms were very interested in tapping into.

Soon the small group disseminated, and they were the only ones left; an onlooker would have thought that he’s absolutely smitten by this young lady he was talking to. He cracked a few jokes to which she laughed politely, as all girls do she started to notice his crisp white shirt, his not too flashy cufflinks, and he says, ‘S…

Does Size Matter?

My first question to a close friend after she declares she's just engaged in vigorous copulation is not 'How good was it?' or 'How long did it last?' - It’s ‘How BIG is it?’ I use my hands as means of measurement. Anything from elbow to wrist is a ‘unicorn’ – midway there and I smile my seal of approval. If I have to use my fingers, then it’s a different story altogether.

In strange way, there seems to be a positive correlation between the size of a man's penis and a woman’s satisfaction in bed. Think about it. Women, from the very beginning, have been 'gatherers', which ideally means they sow, reap and they secure provisions for their family. In a contemporary scenario, women are independent and we only expect men to provide the things and feels a dildo cannot. Women are financially independent, confident, career-minded individuals who buy their own Prada bags, drive a swanky number, and book their own vacation air tickets online. As gatherers who presi…

Ten Types of Ex-Boyfriends!

Let me tell you a wonderful story about my first breakup.

Age - 17
Location - Colombo
Year - 2003

I started talking to this dark, mysterious architect-type who was eleven years my senior; I spoke to him for over two months, met him once, and then mustered the courage to tell him that I liked him. He laughed and said these very words, "Darling, I like you too. Like a daughter or maybe a sister". I cried for six straight months.

World over, Ben and Jerry's, Hershey's, Cadbury's, and other confectioners profit as women strive to stabilize raging hormonal conditions resulting from insulting, heart-wrenching breakups. Each worse than the other, some more dramatic than the other and there are still others which are more public than others. This will not be how breakups take place, but rather how these swine try so hard to be a part of our lives, when everything is done and dusted. If they tried this hard when they were still in relationships with us, they would not be …