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My Wish List for the Perfect Guy!

A girl is entitled to a wish. Let's just get that fact out of the way.

You can be twelve, twenty-one, forty-six or eighty-seven years old, but the fact remains that a girl can wish. When I was eight I wanted to marry the purple haired Rio (Jem and the Holograms), when I was twelve it was Nick Carter (Backstreet Boys), when I was twenty-one, it was George Clooney – and now, I’m wishing for anything younger, buffed as Eff, and a good cook!

So when I asked on Facebook about what women liked or had as a ‘wish-list’ for boys, I was mildly surprised when almost everyone who responded to it had the same things on their mind! Let’s have a look at them, shall we?

Naturally, I have ranked them from least important to my top seller! Let me know if you agree :)

20. Colour of Eyes:
I can't say much for this, as thus far only the brown-eyed have crossed my finish line. I think it's a weakness I have. Also, to add to this, is the shape of eyes and eyebrows. Nothing says ‘I can take you down like a rival political party billboard in Sri Lanka' than a good pair of thick eyebrows.

19. Dimples & Smile Lines:
Very attractive, though I have been informed the ‘Dimpled and Dapper’, are thought to be the best of heart-breakers.

18. Gorgeous Locks: By hair, I don’t specifically mean having a luscious tuft, per se, but you know when someone is comfortable having their hair in a certain way and doesn’t look like they are trying too hard? Well, j’ adore mon Cheri.

17. Foot Model-esque Feet: I love looking at clean feet with neat nails, and I cannot be the only one.

16. Palms of a Trucker: I just want my hands to feel softer than his and, for this reason, I would not care if he had sandpaper pasted to his palms.

15. Well-Maintained Nails: Naturally, I am going to be Instagramming pictures of us holding hands and showing him off digitally, and it won't help if he has nails of a person who had been scraping mud all his life. I will also openly vomit if he ever admits to getting a manicure – to hell with metrosexuality!

14. Bodily Hair:
Yeah, well, if I wanted hair all over a body I will visit a bear in a petting zoo. Let’s just say that body hair, rippling out of the collar of your v-neck tee shirt does nothing for me.

13. Facial Hair: I. Want. Two words, very simple, really.
There are guys who cannot pull off facial hair, that’s why Gillette does pretty well as a company, but for the rest, I always tell anyone who asks me, guys look infinitely better, sexier and masculine with facial hair. Am I preaching to the choir? Thought so.

12. Jaw Line That Can Grate Cheese (or slice fat thighs): Now, this was a recent ‘I Like' – I never much-fancied jawlines because I thought it made one's face look like a box, but I was pleasantly surprised when I was informed that this made kissing much more
pleasurable. (To do list, for sure)

11. Dark, Tanned Complexion: Growing up, I always liked fair complexion on the opposite sex; I remember being eleven and describing my crush to friends, and it was important to say he was fair. Now, the tables have turned, and it's dark complexion anytime, any day. Why? I perceive ‘dark’ as strong, masculine and I can guarantee anyone, that’s on the bill of every girl’s shopping list.

10. Long, Winding Roads: You know those amazing veins that course through a boy’s hand all the way up to his triceps; don’t you just adore tracing your fingertips along it? Enough said.

09. Good Legs: I can weep at the sight of good looking, nicely buffed guys who have their shoulders so wide apart that you would need a subway built to reach each side, but had the lower body of an eight-year-old girl. I mean, there’s a reason why they have a ‘leg day’ at the gym, right? Just so that your body had balance and proportion, for example, when you have two waffles, you make sure that each had the same amount of Nutella spread on it?

08. Groomed Groins:
I cannot stress how important this is from a hygienic point of view, and it also reminds me of this slogan I stumbled upon for a product that dealt with hair in one’s manhood that said, ‘shave the forest; it makes the tree look bigger’. With great sexual demands of the lady going oral, one also needs to reciprocate in ensuring that the forest resembled the great Saharan desert, thank you very much.

07. No underarm hair too. Please.

06. Height: Never goes out of style doesn’t it? I don't want them towering over me, but it does feel good to wear heels and still look up to kiss them.

05. Broad shoulders and trapezius: I used to call them the pyramids on guys shoulders, but it turns out that there is a legitimate term for those muscles resting atop of men’s shoulders. What can I say? It’s perfect to bite on when he’s going in missionary A La Fast and Furious on (in) you!

04. The size of His Weiner:
I like my hotdogs thick. That is all.

03. Good Oral Hygiene: Given the amount of oral activity he will be subject to, it will be of utmost importance for the significant other to have good oral hygiene. Please don’t make me buy and offer you Mentos, and it will be rather nice to have nice straight teeth, and proportionate lips whilst you are at it.

02. Washboard Abdomen: Ten years ago, when I was bidding farewell to my teens that were not enjoyed as much as they should have been, there were no, and by that I mean zero, and by that I mean nada, and by that I mean zilch, number of boys who had ripped abdomen muscles. Now, every nineteen year is ripped as Eff, and I mean everyone! (Why, oh, why, couldn't I have been born in the late 90s)

01. Awesome Buns:
We've been over this, haven't we? Thank you, David Beckham, the Father of Firm Buttocks, for removing any stigma around men having perfect bums. It's definitely a millennial concept that happened with those advertisements for Calvin Klein briefs that awakened the gushing in my valley.

Given this long list, something tells me that I will be single for a long time.
There you have it! My Wish List for the perfect male being! Can you relate to any of them, or am I the only one walking these lonely roads? Let me know if I have missed out on anything – I would love to hear from you 


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