Skip to main content

Posts

Showing posts from July, 2015

Ageing – Men Vs. Women!

I have had Jason Derulo’s ‘It Girl’ on replay for the last five hours. Somehow, I feel like the more I listen to it the more I believe Jason’s singing this to me! Borrowing words from Clementine Von Radics who said, ‘I will love you when you are a still day; I will love you when you are a hurricane’, I wonder if I would be loved when I metamorphose into an aged grey haired, saggy (yet insatiable) hurricane?

Last week a girlfriend mentioned how ‘ageing’ is a thing now. I completely dismissed this until I realized that my competition is a 17-year-old girl who don’t even shape her eyebrows. As I hit the grand three-oh next year, I may have to budget for ‘colouring of hair’ under monthly expenses.

Ageing happens very differently for both sexes – you should know this by now. You know it has happened when you stalk your ex from seven years ago and say a silent prayer of thanks that you didn't end up with him as you count how many strands of hair he has remaining; it's definitely pas…

Why Men Don't Want Commitment

Last Saturday a close friend and colleague told me that he now knew what it was like to ‘bang’ Jennifer Lopez. It was during lunch; I considered it an educated move to swallow the contents in my mouth before it landed on his face as the conversation progressed. The single word “How?” escaped me with the greatest difficulty as he explained that he met a willing and promiscuous lady at a casino the night before and had taken this rather voluptuous creature to bed where the “kachings” continued all night long.

Again, at the end of the conversation I managed to ask him “How?” and he asked “How what?” – I cleared his confusion by asking him how he managed to persuade her to go home with him so easily, and he just shrugged as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

Two days later as I write this my mind is still reeling from the shock. I’m no saint and my divinity is far-fetched, but you expect for this home girl to hold back and play hard to get for the Team! And here I am, ponder…

A Letter to My Future Boyfriend

As I contemplate how blissful my current single status is, I thought there might come a time where I might revel in the realms of a relationship and think what a loser I was to laze around every weekend in sweatpants, uncombed hair, having chocolate as my diet for the day, and making it my personal goal to spend as little time as possible awake.

After being single for so long, it's not going to be easy to switch to the 'taken' mode - I remember facing this with Boyfriend 3 who used to find my mobile phone off for the greater part of Sunday because I'd rather sleep undisturbed than speak to him! (I was even puzzled when there were 31 missed call alerts and 19 text messages)

When you have been alone (not to be mistaken with lonely) for long you tend to succumb to a mold of sorts; your behavioural patterns skew; your social skills limit itself into a comfortable threshold and you redefine your 'sanctuary' - what I am trying to say is that you choose sleep over com…