As I began my annual leave for the year, I thought I will take my holiday bonus out for a spin. Each year I will myself not to spend over a certain cap, but this year I thought that nothing would hold me back.
As the shopping circuits are limited in our little island, I went to where everyone would go when in need of ‘something to wear for Christmas’. Singletons don’t have it easy, do they? When would life cut us a break? I wondered as I roamed ducking baubles, avoiding awkward Santas, and constantly wondering how I got glitter on my face.
Here’s a peek at my experience!
(1.) Rotten Retail:
Retail Therapy works better when the stores are not filled with couples walking at minus 2kmph, moon-eyed, hand-in-hand. It’s impossible to get between the aisles when the love-bugs block your path and make matters worse with their PDA.
‘Baby, does this look good?’ and ‘she’ walks out of the dressing room and ‘he’ approves. Frankly, I don’t think he could have cared less if she wore a crocodile costume. Not only does this delay everyone else who might want to trial their outfits as G-Flock reminds their rounded consumers to ensure their sizes are in check several times prior to purchase, it’s also annoying that we have be witness to this mini pageant.
(2.) His & Hers:
I have come dangerously close to unsubscribing from Cosmopolitan as all they seem to be doing is suggesting ‘perfect’ ideas for him this festive season. ASOS online store reminds me that as a way of rewarding me for my love towards him that they will offer me free shipping in the month of December, and oh, would I like to throw in a Baume Mercier watch for New Year? No. Thank you.
(3.) Socially Annoying:
To make matters even worse, all your friends who belong to pairs are posting pictures of their holiday escapades, accessorized with Santa hats and other Christmas fluff. I continue ‘liking’ these posts with a placid smile of my face, but as for the soundtrack in my head, it’s Taylor Swift’s ‘Bad Blood’.
(4.) Secret Sodding Santa:
As many offices have the tradition of ‘Secret Santa’, mine goes an extra mile to leave me a card that says, ‘May you find a man to get married soon’, and I want to say ‘Remember my quest to find a unicorn?’
(5.) Family Foes:
Now these are those aunties we have who are slightly batty, and keeps asking, ‘Whose daughter are you, Darling? I keep forgetting – you all look the same to me! Ha Ha Ha!’ When this finally this registers, they move on to the next question, ‘Ah, so, where is your husband?’ and in hushed tones you remind them that you don’t have one repeatedly. If this isn’t a form of cruelty, I don’t know what is.
I did mention that I am on holiday, so when on vacation one thing I eagerly look forward to is meeting my girls. Some stay loyal to the core, others send their regrets on the WhatsApp group saying that every waking moment will be spent with their significant other. #ICantEven
7.) Morbid Mobile Apps:
As a single girl I spend much of my time doodling online – I feel it might be apt to lock my phone in a box and set it on fire when the network provider sends me a text to remind me that I have gained extra talk time for the Season for one SPECIAL number. Woo hoo? More like Boo hoo!
I get that Christmas is about love – but surely, it’s not singularly about ‘romance-kind-of-love’ is it? It can’t be that Santa wanted us Singletons to be reminded on status quo when the season for tequila shots and love cake have arrived. However, commercialism has figured that the one lowly tactic for easy revenue would be to target the mother ship of lovers.
If you are like me, you must be repelled to step outside your home or even go online. Even YouTuber Joe Santagato whom I follow simply for his devious good looks released his newest video about the ideal gift for girls/guys.
Relax, this too shall pass. Until mid January you and I will be safe.
Here are seven instances where Christmas is about belonging in a couple, and where it meant that a proper celebration can only be attained with a signification other. I believe that you too have your personal experience with the subject in concern. Do share them in the comments section below, and don’t forget to look out for Ms. Confidential next week.
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