Skip to main content

When Celebrating Christmas Meant Being in Love.



As I began my annual leave for the year, I thought I will take my holiday bonus out for a spin. Each year I will myself not to spend over a certain cap, but this year I thought that nothing would hold me back.
As the shopping circuits are limited in our little island, I went to where everyone would go when in need of ‘something to wear for Christmas’. Singletons don’t have it easy, do they? When would life cut us a break? I wondered as I roamed ducking baubles, avoiding awkward Santas, and constantly wondering how I got glitter on my face.
Here’s a peek at my experience!

(1.) Rotten Retail:
Retail Therapy works better when the stores are not filled with couples walking at minus 2kmph, moon-eyed, hand-in-hand. It’s impossible to get between the aisles when the love-bugs block your path and make matters worse with their PDA.
‘Baby, does this look good?’ and ‘she’ walks out of the dressing room and ‘he’ approves. Frankly, I don’t think he could have cared less if she wore a crocodile costume. Not only does this delay everyone else who might want to trial their outfits as G-Flock reminds their rounded consumers to ensure their sizes are in check several times prior to purchase, it’s also annoying that we have be witness to this mini pageant.

(2.) His & Hers:
I have come dangerously close to unsubscribing from Cosmopolitan as all they seem to be doing is suggesting ‘perfect’ ideas for him this festive season. ASOS online store reminds me that as a way of rewarding me for my love towards him that they will offer me free shipping in the month of December, and oh, would I like to throw in a Baume Mercier watch for New Year? No. Thank you.



(3.) Socially Annoying:
To make matters even worse, all your friends who belong to pairs are posting pictures of their holiday escapades, accessorized with Santa hats and other Christmas fluff. I continue ‘liking’ these posts with a placid smile of my face, but as for the soundtrack in my head, it’s Taylor Swift’s ‘Bad Blood’.
  



(4.) Secret Sodding Santa:
As many offices have the tradition of ‘Secret Santa’, mine goes an extra mile to leave me a card that says, ‘May you find a man to get married soon’, and I want to say ‘Remember my quest to find a unicorn?’







(5.) Family Foes:
Now these are those aunties we have who are slightly batty, and keeps asking, ‘Whose daughter are you, Darling? I keep forgetting – you all look the same to me! Ha Ha Ha!’ When this finally this registers, they move on to the next question, ‘Ah, so, where is your husband?’ and in hushed tones you remind them that you don’t have one repeatedly. If this isn’t a form of cruelty, I don’t know what is.

(6.) Coupley-Daisy:
I did mention that I am on holiday, so when on vacation one thing I eagerly look forward to is meeting my girls. Some stay loyal to the core, others send their regrets on the WhatsApp group saying that every waking moment will be spent with their significant other. #ICantEven





7.) Morbid Mobile Apps:
As a single girl I spend much of my time doodling online – I feel it might be apt to lock my phone in a box and set it on fire when the network provider sends me a text to remind me that I have gained extra talk time for the Season for one SPECIAL number. Woo hoo? More like Boo hoo!





I get that Christmas is about love – but surely, it’s not singularly about ‘romance-kind-of-love’ is it? It can’t be that Santa wanted us Singletons to be reminded on status quo when the season for tequila shots and love cake have arrived. However, commercialism has figured that the one lowly tactic for easy revenue would be to target the mother ship of lovers.

If you are like me, you must be repelled to step outside your home or even go online. Even YouTuber Joe Santagato whom I follow simply for his devious good looks released his newest video about the ideal gift for girls/guys.

Relax, this too shall pass. Until mid January you and I will be safe.

Here are seven instances where Christmas is about belonging in a couple, and where it meant that a proper celebration can only be attained with a signification other. I believe that you too have your personal experience with the subject in concern. Do share them in the comments section below, and don’t forget to look out for Ms. Confidential next week.
 Got any suggestions, thoughts, or ideas? Direct them to facebook.com/msconfidentialcolombo to read more visit msconfidentialcolombo.blogspot.com

Comments

Read More Here

Relationship Advice from Sri Lankan Aunties

Of Unicorns, Disney Boyfriends, and Glass Slippers

Have fairly tales influenced our decisions? Are the happy endings we read about cause for our constant disappointment?

As I am 27, many many wonderful people take the liberty of reminding me that I am no longer in my ‘blossoming youth’ - I tell them often enough that if they approach these grounds without bodily provision, I will make parts of their anatomies blossom. I am just kidding, I do not say a word, I simply cower away with the most hackneyed excuse of all time ‘I am waiting for my Prince Charming’. To this, I always get the same answer saying that I watch too many sappy movies, read too many Mills & Boons (yes, in secret till I was 20) and watched too many Disney cartoons and I have UNREAL expectations. Can you believe the audacity these people possess?

When I think about this now, I think boys have been influenced by fairy tales far more than girls. Why? If you do think about it, their behaviour, perspectives, and assumptions are rooted in those magical books courtesy o…

Types of Sri Lankan Boyfriends

If you're a Sri Lankan girl under the age of 18, mentioning the ‘B' word will have your parents cartwheeling, calling the best witch doctor in Anuradhapura saying that you're possessed, because, after all, no Sri Lankan female under 30 was allowed to find love on her own accord.
For your Parents, every boy is trying to break open your treasure chest (if you know what I mean) – they are rabid pariahs, almost like anthrax. For every young girl educated in an all-female school until the budding age of 19, they’re lissome creatures, must-haves in every way.
It may not be very evident at first, but Sri Lankan Boyfriends are of several ‘genres’, if you may. Let’s take a look at some of the most obvious types!

1.) Moose:


This is the one who seems to have opinions of humanitarian, thoughts of a poet and a personality of a stone. Scrolling through his news feed, you will find so many interesting posts, quips, and comments, but IRL, he is just like Moose from Archie comics… ‘Duh… that&…

Ways Sri Lankan Girlfriends Drive you Nuts

Sri Lankan girlfriends are the ultimate ‘lunu dehi’ – they're hard to eat and need to be taken in smaller doses with a lot of other things to cut the acidity. The good kind is harder to get a hold of, but you know how amazing your plate of rice tastes with it. The same applies to Sri Lankan girlfriends. This week we pay homage to Sri Lankan girlfriends who seem to master the art of driving their boyfriends loco with carefully concocted ploys like the ones below.
1.)Menu Options Let’s start with my personal favourite. When he texts, “Babe, what do you want to eat?” when he is coming over or is grabbing a takeaway meal, the Sri Lankan girlfriends knows *exactly* what she wants. Whether it is Tipi Tip, Red Velvet Cake, or a 12-pack KFC Hot Drumlets, she knows, but she will wait until her SO tears his hair running out of options. Patiently waiting, tapping her nails, until he consults Yamu and Zomato for all the restaurants in town.
2.)Part Time Bouncer While on the subject of food, on a …

Does Size Matter?

My first question to a close friend after she declares she's just engaged in vigorous copulation is not 'How good was it?' or 'How long did it last?' - It’s ‘How BIG is it?’ I use my hands as means of measurement. Anything from elbow to wrist is a ‘unicorn’ – midway there and I smile my seal of approval. If I have to use my fingers, then it’s a different story altogether.

In strange way, there seems to be a positive correlation between the size of a man's penis and a woman’s satisfaction in bed. Think about it. Women, from the very beginning, have been 'gatherers', which ideally means they sow, reap and they secure provisions for their family. In a contemporary scenario, women are independent and we only expect men to provide the things and feels a dildo cannot. Women are financially independent, confident, career-minded individuals who buy their own Prada bags, drive a swanky number, and book their own vacation air tickets online. As gatherers who presi…