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Is ‘Sexting’ the New Love Letter?

Let me begin that there is zero privacy when it comes to sharing nudes on digital space – be it WhatsApp, Viber, or Facebook. It can be the guy at the gym who asks for your picture in just your crop top or the girl who asks for the picture of you in your towel – there is a 99.99% chance that it will be shared with at least one person.

I was reading through some of the ten best love letters of our time published by; circa 1796 Napoleon Bonaparte sends his thoughts to Josephine de Beauharnais with these touching words –  
“The charms of the incomparable Josephine kindle continually a burning and glowing flame in my heart”
 However, in 2016, the only thing being burnt is data charges when you send across steamy nudes that set his manhood in flames!

I was inspired to write this when I recently came across my first ever ‘love letter' that was sent to me when I was 17 (back in 2003). He was 18, we both owned Nokia 3310s at the time, and SMS charges were about my daily allowance – so we had to write. I smiled as I read his rounded letters that spoke nothing of ‘love' - it was almost platonic. He even refers to me as 'Dude' midway.

Will I ever get letters of this sort? I don’t know. Do people still do this? I am clueless. Am I desperately seeking something that doesn’t exist? Perhaps.

Sipping on piping hot green tea to detox my body of Lindt chocolate that I devoured by the kilo, and I am wondering how people express their love, burning desire, and need for sensual reciprocity? Some form of written communication that is meant to express their feelings and thus evoke the attentions of the recipient – well, it had to be ‘sexting’.

I sadly wonder if this is when love goes extinct along with the rhinoceri of Africa.
I know that we usually see the World Cup before the match starts – but, giving out the goods before the match even begins to all the ‘players’ is something that irks me. Since we’re being honest about it, there’s really nothing visually appealing about the male trophy, and could there be anything more revolting than receiving an unsolicited d*ck pic? Let me assure you that there is not.

As a lover of ‘love’, it pains me to see the erosion of romance. I don’t want to use an eggplant emoji to suggest intimacy! Or, the emoji of the ‘anaconda' or the (sigh) cat during an intimate conversation. I want written grammatically-sound words in flowing hand. It's no wonder some people are attracted to the British men because of the pre-conceived notion about them being proper, well-mannered way. (You know who you are!) Could this be a subject taught in school, I believe it's almost as important as sex-ed?

Once I had a male colleague who needed a form signed, and a summary of the requirement had to be (unfortunately) written out; I had to hold it out and try casting a spell hoping the letters will come together to form words to help me understand what was written. RIP letter writing.

It’s no secret that I have a special drawer filled with ‘relationship stationery’; a special reserve of glitter pens, gel pens, and embellishments I hope to use when I write love letters again. Four years ago, during my last relationship I made it a point to give him a hand-written note daily, just getting my old-school groove on.

It’s so easy to fall out some things that create memories. I cherish my old love letters, not for the people whom it was sent by, but because someone took the time to write, number pages, put it in an envelope and give it to me. I don’t get that with a WhatsApp message.

My biggest worry is when people tell me that ‘he assured me that it’s for his eyes only’. Yeah, bloody right! Even if he means to respect your privacy, what if his phone is stolen or breaks and his passcode is cracked into – it happens you know. You can wave your career and social life goodbye!

You may be saying that it’s different with long distance relationships and there are “needs” that need to be met and technology has facilitated this so nicely. I won’t argue with you, and I fully comprehend that fact, and I know too well that you are manipulated with ‘you don't trust me enough' rants when you decline to send nudes. But, as a word of caution, crop your face out or any significant birthmarks that could distinguish you; that way when it lands on GossipLanka you will still have a job.

It's not an easy time to live in; we face dilemmas daily especially in the light of love and romance. Don't let technology enhance love with the decline of romance. Find your equilibrium.
And, that’s a wrap from Ms. Confidential for this week! Thinking of someone who might find this read interesting? Do spread the love by hitting the ‘share' button.

Have you had similar experiences? Is there anything you would add on to this list? Do let me know in the comments section below, or follow Ms Confidential on Facebook, Twitter, or Google+ or look out for similar reads on


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