The title for this was something my BFF actually told me last week.
You know how you meet someone and you think, ‘Nice shoes’, but the list doesn’t stop there as you unravel mysteries about them AND they know the difference between ‘your’ and “you’re”. Anyone who knows me a little will know that I am sapiosexual – should the man even ‘share’ a Roald Dahl quote, a vision of a magnificent rock emerges on my ring finger.
He was controlling me with his smouldering jet black eyes with eyelashes that cast shadows on his cheekbones. I felt weak every time our eyes met, it was like he was telling me something but he meant something else. Once he stood next to me to show me something and I almost fell over a chair because I couldn’t control my balance. His suits were so sharp; he even carried a navy blue suit perfectly.
Every time I knew I was to meet him, I would check if my winged eyeliner was perfect. I would even think of something witty to say to him – albeit I couldn’t even open my mouth when he said something to me. I checked if I had stains of my Revlon 725 on my teeth on the selfie mode of my camera.
The hemline was adjusted shorter for the meeting. The conversation developed, and it came to a point where he casually mentioned that we should meet up for coffee. There would be no coffee, I decided, when I learned that he had a girlfriend in another country.
See, this is the trouble with temptation. Temptation only presents you with the very best. I was telling my BFF, panicked, disarrayed, and shocked to think that someone whom I knew so little could leave me flustered so. I could have told myself, ‘Yes, it’s harmless coffee’ but I know myself; in this context coffee equated to me doing to Taylor Swift and I quote ‘Screaming, crying, perfect storm’ locked in my office bathroom eating Toblerone and blowing my nose into my shirt once he was "through” with me. When I told her that I had politely declined the invitation to f*ck with the pretense of appreciating ground coffee beans, she said ‘You have won your battle against the Devil’.
That night I couldn't sleep. Did I do the right thing? Yes, of course, I had. Did I regret it? Would the pleasure have been worth it? Probably not.
I suppose it’s the same for everyone. The tidal wave is so great, you cannot swim against it. And sometimes you don’t want to. I put down a few thoughts that I wanted to share with girls who are dealing with similar situations, maybe you could relate to some of them:
1. The Devil is capable of disguise. It could be an innocent façade with an impeccable Prada suit. Or, it could be in Under Armour. Wherever it may be, remember that looks and speech can deceive, it depends on where your hell is.
2. If you are dragged into it, do not concede in your loss. It’s not too late to give up. It could be when he breaks open a pack of Durex extra ribbed. Leave before the ultimate consummation happens.
Or, before the second time.
3. If you cannot stop lusting about him, remember his wife/girlfriend/lover. If this still doesn’t put you off – it’s you who wears the horns.
4. Admit it, you just want to hear something to the effect of ‘Oh, you’re so great in bed – I can’t imagine how you’re the whole package’. Leave him wondering what you must be like – feisty, obnoxious, and defiant in real life could let him wonder what you must be like in the sack. Be the prey who escaped. Trust me, that’s what remains years after, not the sight of you in rhinestone studded lingerie. If he leaves you feeling that you’re more than a casual shag, he is really good at this.
5. Now, I may be quoting a L’Oreal advertisement when I say that you are worth much more than being a doormat. He can and will say things to make you think you are special, but Darling, all he sees is a freely-available vee-vee.
It’s never the easiest thing to hear. You might hate me just a little. But, as someone who has been used time and time again, I have learned to love myself. The Devil has been defeated. For some, it might be a few days, for others a few months or years. If you are conjuring excuses as to why you think you are special, you might need to do a little defending.
Ta-Da! That’s my take for this week – Can you think of someone who is going through a battle herself? Someone who needs a nudge? Go ahead and hit the ‘share’ button!
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[All images are courtesy of Google]