Skip to main content

The Diary of a Single Girl

You know how you have those memes, the ones that say, what your friends think you’re like, what your parents think you’re like – and finally, what you’re actually like? This had me wondering about what people actually thought being single was like. 

Surely, it’s no bed of roses, but it’s not what people imagine you sitting in sweat pants during the entirety of the weekend either.

I have an ‘office uncle’ (the near-retiree colleague who treats everyone like his grand kids) who tried with all his might to match-make me with half of the male population in the Western Province, and who has now accepted my thesis of why being single is good for me. Office Uncle met me after a long weekend and greeted me thus,
            ‘Ah, Miss! After a long time, no? You must have slept for three days, right?’
I ate in between my long naps.

This had me wondering – is this what people think of single people? Just because we’re single, are we not entitled to live a little? Are they under the impression that we don’t want to live?

This is what inspired me to unveil what a single girl's week looks like. It's obviously not everyone, but I thought to let it start with me!

5.00 AM – Beep! I decided to go to the gym, but my bed held me captive.
7.15 AM – Beep! Ok… that’s a decent time to wake up, let’s just snooze for 5 minutes.
8.09 AM – Beep! F*CK! I need to be at work at 8.30 AM – Damn it. Wait – let me check what these Facebook alerts are.
11.00 AM – A little too much on my to-do list charms me to procrastinate. I get coffee. I decide it’s too hot, and then it’s too cold. What in the world are these damned WhatsApp notifications? Oh, right – it’s the group messages. Well, it’s time to send voice notes to BFF.
1.00 PM – I shouldn’t have eaten so much. Four hours more to get through Moany Monday – Ooh, let's log into YouTube and see what's new on Buzzfeed.
1.17 PM – How in the world did I end up on Buzzfeed Food? I am hungry and I want Cookie Crumble Cake from Butter Boutique.
5:05 PM – Alright, it’s time to decide; or I gym or not.
5.37 PM – I decided to the gym, self-congratulatory note to myself.
9.00 PM – Binge watches four episodes of The Simpsons.
11.30 PM – [On Facebook] Why is it that every time I log in, someone gets married?
1.00AM – Must go to sleep.

8.45 AM – Breakfast in office, on Instagram. I must try to sleep earlier – the coffee is not taking an effect anymore.
10.00 AM – Slightly cheerful as I remember that I am meeting BFF for dinner and dessert.
12.34 PM – Productive day – managed to tick three of the five things that were super urgent on the To-Do list. Secretly imagines that the ‘To-Do' list had names of boys instead of paperwork.
2.00 PM – [On Facebook] Damn it, I got distracted by those cutesy videos of puppies on my feed. Oh, just one more video!
6.10 PM – Waiting for BFF to pick me up! Super excited as always – even though we spend three hours collectively on WhatsApp, we tend to discuss more meaningful things when we meet.
7.30PM – [At Cargills] Look at that hottie – oh, wait, is that his wife? Grr. BFF is married, but she feels my pain.
11.00PM – New resolution to gym at 6.00AM tomorrow.

5.20 AM – Beep! I am up? It must be a miracle!
8.00 AM – Walks into office feeling challenged, accomplished, and happy. Let’s get on Facebook and post something inspirational.
10.10AM – [On Facebook] Why are all the hot boys taken? Colombo needs a new supply of boys. Is it too early to have cake?
3.00 PM – How many days to the weekend?
5.00 PM – Meeting friends for coffee gets canceled. I am secretly thrilled.
6.30 PM – Rush home to my ‘at home’ shorts, and catch up some good reading.
10.30 PM – Yawn! Gym in the A.M.? Yes!

5.30 AM – Beep! Jump out of bed with zeal – check the mirror for overnight abs. slightly disappointed that there are none.
8.10 AM – Triumphant return to office, a large mug of coffee to celebrate.
1.00 PM – Unproductive few hours on Instagram, stalking crush. I almost have a mini heart attack when I almost double-tapped a picture from 74 weeks ago. Ew, Messenger text from someone I don’t want to text *delete*.
6.00 PM – Ah, 5 minutes away from home. Today is a good day for a cheat meal.
7.00 PM – Resumes ‘The Simpsons’ marathon.

7.00 AM – Sigh. I should stop binge-watching TV series.
9.00 AM – My friends want to go out tonight. I would rather stay in.
2.00 PM – Can’t wait for the day to end.
9.00 PM – Reading, watching ‘The Simpsons’, and messaging BFF all at the same time.

11.00 AM – Breakfast?
1.00 PM – Doing nothing in bed.
3.00 PM – Wax appointment
5.15 PM – Bought a slice of Nutella Chocolate Cake from Butter Boutique, excellent choice for my book.
8.00 PM – Best Saturday ever.

7.30 AM – En route to church, bleary-eyed. Watched way too much TV Series.
11.00 AM – Mid-Sunday nap.
5.00 PM – Gym time, not the most productive, but those boys sans their shirts! Plenty of motivation to get started with the weekly update from Ms. Confidential!
11.15 PM – Facebook takes too much of our time.

It may not be the most interesting week, but just because you are single doesn’t mean you live in a club; nor does it mean that you while away all your free time with society. Some are of the belief that single people spend too much time alone in front of the TV, wearing an adult diaper to save them from a trip to the bathroom.

We’re just the same as the ones in relationships, except, we sleep better; eat whatever TF we want, and use just as much of our data plans texting friends. There are chances single people lead happier lives than ones in relationships, so don’t judge too early!

That concludes this week’s update - Do you have anyone who claims that single life is the best? Do feel free to spread the love and ‘share’ this with them. Have I missed out on anything? Let me know in the comments section below, or follow Ms Confidential on Facebook, Twitter, or Google+ or look out for similar reads on

All images are courtesy of Google.


Read More Here

Relationship Advice from Sri Lankan Aunties

Of Unicorns, Disney Boyfriends, and Glass Slippers

Have fairly tales influenced our decisions? Are the happy endings we read about cause for our constant disappointment?

As I am 27, many many wonderful people take the liberty of reminding me that I am no longer in my ‘blossoming youth’ - I tell them often enough that if they approach these grounds without bodily provision, I will make parts of their anatomies blossom. I am just kidding, I do not say a word, I simply cower away with the most hackneyed excuse of all time ‘I am waiting for my Prince Charming’. To this, I always get the same answer saying that I watch too many sappy movies, read too many Mills & Boons (yes, in secret till I was 20) and watched too many Disney cartoons and I have UNREAL expectations. Can you believe the audacity these people possess?

When I think about this now, I think boys have been influenced by fairy tales far more than girls. Why? If you do think about it, their behaviour, perspectives, and assumptions are rooted in those magical books courtesy o…

Types of Sri Lankan Boyfriends

If you're a Sri Lankan girl under the age of 18, mentioning the ‘B' word will have your parents cartwheeling, calling the best witch doctor in Anuradhapura saying that you're possessed, because, after all, no Sri Lankan female under 30 was allowed to find love on her own accord.
For your Parents, every boy is trying to break open your treasure chest (if you know what I mean) – they are rabid pariahs, almost like anthrax. For every young girl educated in an all-female school until the budding age of 19, they’re lissome creatures, must-haves in every way.
It may not be very evident at first, but Sri Lankan Boyfriends are of several ‘genres’, if you may. Let’s take a look at some of the most obvious types!

1.) Moose:

This is the one who seems to have opinions of humanitarian, thoughts of a poet and a personality of a stone. Scrolling through his news feed, you will find so many interesting posts, quips, and comments, but IRL, he is just like Moose from Archie comics… ‘Duh… that&…

Ways Sri Lankan Girlfriends Drive you Nuts

Sri Lankan girlfriends are the ultimate ‘lunu dehi’ – they're hard to eat and need to be taken in smaller doses with a lot of other things to cut the acidity. The good kind is harder to get a hold of, but you know how amazing your plate of rice tastes with it. The same applies to Sri Lankan girlfriends. This week we pay homage to Sri Lankan girlfriends who seem to master the art of driving their boyfriends loco with carefully concocted ploys like the ones below.
1.)Menu Options Let’s start with my personal favourite. When he texts, “Babe, what do you want to eat?” when he is coming over or is grabbing a takeaway meal, the Sri Lankan girlfriends knows *exactly* what she wants. Whether it is Tipi Tip, Red Velvet Cake, or a 12-pack KFC Hot Drumlets, she knows, but she will wait until her SO tears his hair running out of options. Patiently waiting, tapping her nails, until he consults Yamu and Zomato for all the restaurants in town.
2.)Part Time Bouncer While on the subject of food, on a …

Does Size Matter?

My first question to a close friend after she declares she's just engaged in vigorous copulation is not 'How good was it?' or 'How long did it last?' - It’s ‘How BIG is it?’ I use my hands as means of measurement. Anything from elbow to wrist is a ‘unicorn’ – midway there and I smile my seal of approval. If I have to use my fingers, then it’s a different story altogether.

In strange way, there seems to be a positive correlation between the size of a man's penis and a woman’s satisfaction in bed. Think about it. Women, from the very beginning, have been 'gatherers', which ideally means they sow, reap and they secure provisions for their family. In a contemporary scenario, women are independent and we only expect men to provide the things and feels a dildo cannot. Women are financially independent, confident, career-minded individuals who buy their own Prada bags, drive a swanky number, and book their own vacation air tickets online. As gatherers who presi…