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Breaking Up: Expectations VS. Reality


I wonder if I could cite my record of devouring three cupcakes in 45 minutes as a special skill on my resume – then again, I've certainly done better… Speaking of cupcakes and ‘doing better', I realized yesterday that I'm celebrating an important anniversary on 18 July! On this day, I celebrate my last break up – the best one, which happened three years ago.
We've all been there at some point. Even if it's when your celebrity crush Damon Salvatore from Vampire Diaries announces his Hollywood relationship or when an ‘almost married' relationship ends, breaking up sucks. To celebrate this momentous date, I thought I would reflect on the thoughts I had then (post-breakup) to what I have now, to bust a few myths of coping when a whirlwind romance ceases.
If you’re like me, you’d be thankful looking back on 1,095 amazing days when you have metamorphosed into 'the girl of your own dreams'.
So, here’s an ‘Expectation VS. Reality’ on when you deal with a breakup. Sit tight!
  1.   Friend-O-Meter
Expectation:
Sadly for me, the first thing I thought of was how I would face my friends and tell them that I am back to the ‘Isle of Solo-stars’. Will they pretend to care while accepting my fate gleefully? Will they think it’s my fault? Did they expect this to happen? These thoughts will ravage your mind initially while you rehearse your speech to break the news.
Reality:
People who genuinely care will stick up for you, even when you may be in the wrong. I'm grinning sardonically thinking of a "friend" whom my BFF and I refer to as ‘Dolce' who would do the reverse of this and would go on to befriend your Ex and continue to ‘like’ his pictures on Facebook.
 2.      Cry Me a River
 
Expectation:
You’ve cried so much, you don’t think there are any tears left. You reach a point where your eyes don’t expel tears.
Reality:
Not too lucky with that one – the flow never quite recedes. It will hit you when you least expect it; when you hear his favourite song, when you pass by a place you’ve dined in, or just when you realize that his number doesn’t fall under your ‘frequently dialed’ list anymore.



3.      Never-Land
Expectation:
You don’t think you could get over him. The memories, promises, and conversations are all you think you need. Some stubborn part of you hopes not to get over him, supposing that some universal reverse-cherubim force would wheedle him back to you in spite.
Reality:
It may take a day (Boyfriend No. 2), it may take a month (Boyfriend No. 1), or it may take a year (Boyfriend No. 3), but you will get over him. Unless to you try not to, time will heal it – just be willing to let go. Find solace in gallons of ice cream now that Elephant House has upped their game. Oh, and also a small trick, do quit saying out loud ‘I will never get over him' because we're human and we tend to believe the very things that come out of our mouths as the truth if we aren't too careful. [Same applies to sad posts in Instagram]
 4.      Bump Bump Bump
Expectation:
When you’ve been with someone for months and begin to enjoy the post-sex intimacy, you think you would never enjoy sex again. You cannot even bring yourself to a little ‘self-pleasuring’
Reality:
JK



5.      Lights Out!

Expectation:
Just like above, you doubt if you will heal enough to love someone again. You obsess about the damage this relationship has done to you and you don’t think a full recovery is possible. You go so deep into this that you begin to reason that it ‘won't be fair to the other person' to be loved half-heartedly.
Reality:
…And eventually there comes a certain someone who buys you Oreos instead of roses; stationery instead of insipid jewellery, and doesn’t mind that you eat his slice of cake too.
 6.      Single-itis
Expectation:
You somehow believe that you will be single forever because you are no longer desirable. You are just unlovable. You are everything ‘un' when it comes to being wanted.
Reality:
Yes, you remain single – because you no longer ‘settle' for mediocrity. Now you don't do ‘buffet', you wait for the silver service seven-course menu, even if it takes a little longer.
7.      Good Riddance
Expectations:
If you’re a tad attached, you probably have a zip-lock bag containing your first coffee date bill or a napkin (Ick, I tell myself now), a post-it note he had given you, and even a few of his passport pictures you've flicked. You treasure these. You don't think it will be possible to part from them anytime soon.
Reality:
Bonfires were created for this reason.

8.      Woozy Wardrobe
Expectation:
            You don't have to energy to dress up. Lipstick is an effort. Accessorizing is a dreadful
            task now that you're single. You think, ‘Who in eff is going to bother noticing me now?’
            Reality:
You dress up better. Mainly because you now have more time to perfect your winged eyeliner           because there are no ‘good morning’ WhatsApp conversations.

9.      Werk, Werk, Werk, Werk
Expectation:
You think, ‘Yeah, I am going to lie in bed until the sheets make me one of their own’.
            Reality:
I look back now and think this break up gave me so much to be thankful for. It’s like I don't even recognize myself anymore.

If you’ve just exited a relationship, let yourself heal and you know that bucket list you’ve had... Well, there's no time like the present! If you don't have one – go after the things that people told you that you could never do! Hurt is the best motivation to get things off the ground.

With 9 instances of ‘Expectation VS. Reality’, I have concluded my list. What are your personal experiences? Go ahead and hit the ‘share’ button to send this to your BFF - compare notes and see what you’ve pulled through with. As always, feel free to let me know your thoughts on Ms. Confidential on Facebook, Google+ or Twitter and look out for more reads on msconfidentialcolombo.blogspot.com

Click here to read this article on LIFE ONLINE - Daily Mirror

 [All images are courtesy of Google] 

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