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Life: Single Vs. Taken


And I don’t mean it in a Liam Neeson way either.
I just got the most delectable brownies from a colleague celebrating her birthday. As I chomped down my second piece which I called dibs on, I even scraped off the generously slathered Nutella on the base that had dripped onto its tray. I licked my fingers not letting any of it go to waste. I sighed. This is the life.
If I had been in a relationship, I would have had to give it up in view of my expanding waistline and smiled sardonically and said how unhealthy a choice this would have been. F*ck that, I don’t need that level of negativity in my life.

As I relished the last of my share, I thought of a few things that I wouldn’t have been able to do or enjoy if I had been ‘taken’. I wanted to remind my friends in relationships about why I am deliriously happy about my state – this could also be the Nutella talking…
1.) Bingeing Bingo:
A single girl spends 36 hours of her weekend starting Friday night, binge watching TV series until her eyes decide not to function anymore. There are times I’ve told my eyes, ‘Shut up! Don’t tell me you can’t – function!’.
As a person in a relationship, you might have to compromise on what you are watching – either you are in the first six months of the relationship so you are letting him have things his way, or please don’t tell me he enjoyed watching Glee with you. If you’re a social couple, I doubt you ever stay in, or even if you do there will be other stuff to get done. RIP TV series.

2.) Cake Pop:
And by ‘pop’, I mean straight into my mouth. As a single girl, there seems to be a seamless flow of grub from my fridge to my gut. I spend a greater part of my salary on food – confectionery to be more specific.
If in a relationship, you’d have to count your calories (if a man told me this, he would be counting the sheep as he lies in a shallow grave) and be stricter than a bouncer at a club and not even allowing your breath to enter.

3.) Gym – Go or No:
If you are single, most often it’s considered okay to spend your evenings in a gym; folks reason that you are only in a gym because of the lack of a social life. No one really cares – unless you’re hot and only cover 30% of your body.
If you are in a relationship sans the boyfriend, it’s a questionable case – ‘Is she here to get attention from others?’, ‘Is she cheating on him?’, and ‘Why is she in the gym without him?’

4.) Commu-cation:
Anyone who had to wait for 45 minutes in a club waiting for a friend’s boyfriend to pick them up will know this form of grief. Have you met those couples who don’t allow each other to go anywhere without expressed ‘permission’? Not informing – but straight up ‘permission’. And the absolute worst is when you are on a ‘girls’ night’ and the boyfriend painfully insists on dropping you between locations A and B.
As a single girl, I go wherever, whenever, however. End of story.

5.) Notting-Wax:
When you’re single, you can afford to miss your wax appointments. You just have to resort to trousers for the next five days until the next weekend. The chances are that you are not going to have any planes take off from your runway, so you can stretch the wax appointments when your regular girl isn’t in.
I remember when I was in a relationship and my regular aesthetician was on leave, I insisted on coming to her residence for the deforestation ritual. I fussed so much she had to cut her leave short. This was two weeks after my previous appointment.
6.) Wardrobe Woes:
As a single girl, I am going to assume that wardrobe malfunctions happen frequently enough to make it look like a trend. There was a time when Boyfriend 2 & 3 loathed by accessorizing and I would have to remove it before meeting them. I wish I knew why I didn’t defend my taste – maybe I tried too hard to please.

7.) Babe-d Out:
Pregnancy scares. Enough said. 

8.) My way – all the way:
I flirt ridiculously with the supplies department to get extra stationery; if I weren’t single this would have been improper but getting your way because you are able to sugar-frost your words really helps!

This is just a few times I’ve enjoyed status quo – a few times we had the advantage over those in relationships! Have I missed out on anything?  What are the types of friends you’ve encountered?  Go ahead and hit the ‘share’ button to send this to your BFF! As always, feel free to let me know your thoughts on Ms. Confidential on Facebook, Google+ or Twitter and look out for more reads on msconfidentialcolombo.blogspot.com
  
Click here to read this update on LIFE Online - Daily Mirror.

[All images are courtesy of Google]

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