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The First Move

I am on a warpath. It could be that I am Mars Bar deprived, but this week has been protesting about men who expect women to make the first move. Pfft! As if.
This conversation stemmed when I was talking to a male colleague  (let's call him Kevin) about dating – his theory was that if a girl was incredibly attracted him, she would be left with no choice but to be forced into intimating her feelings to him, and thereby there will be no loss of face for him in case she rejected him. Kevin also moved on to say that he has ‘dated many attractive women' out whom only one he asked out.
I then told him about a guy I am currently ‘in like' with – how I have liked him for almost a year now, but he doesn't know me beyond my name and profession. Kevin urged me to say something indicating my feelings to this guy, to message him or call him and ask him what he is doing over the weekend. I literally shouted, ‘HOW DESPERATE WOULD I LOOK?'… And Kevin said, ‘Oh, so now it's desperate if you ask him, but not vice versa?' I was stumped.
Apart from chivalry, I started wondering why I simply decided it was the role of a guy to ‘chase’; why I rationalized that it was okay for the guy to seem desperate, but not the other way around. Most of my thoughts on Saturday and Sunday were spent looming over this thought. Even my Milo didn’t taste as good. I even rampantly looked for a strong meme on Facebook to justify my thoughts.
Here’s what I thought and it quite helped – let me take you along:

1. Giving Head:
Sorry about that headline; I just needed your attention. Society dictates that men are the head of their household; a female is just ‘insufficient’. Therefore, I have decided that if insufficiency must be countered with men taking the lead in, oh, just about anything.

2. Strong Hold:
It's 2016 and women are still referred to as the ‘fairer sex' – I just quit reading a tabloid because of this reference. So, in that case, the stronger sex can continue to being strong with eh-ruh-thing.

3. Decision Dole:
It’s strange how when in a relationship or in marriage, the final decision pertaining to the purchase of a car, home, or even dinner, is made by the man... but before a relationship, women are to decide and make the first move with a relationship? A tad ironic, do you not think so?

4. Berry Balanced: 
Somehow a single mother does not do a very good job at parenting. A father figure is a must. If so, the sole rights of requesting dates are bequeathed to men.

  5. Virgin More-hit-o:
If I had a brick for each time I heard a guy say that he wanted to marry a virgin, but wouldn't mind playing around until then, I would have built an extension to the Great Wall of China and linked it with Sri Lanka.
Again, I cannot understand how things work in their male psyche about how they want the woman to make the first move, but yet want to marry the ‘untouched'. <Rolls eyes forever>

Given that men seem to have precedence in deciding areas of our lives, it’s only fair that they don’t expect us to take the lead with anything else. As much as I enjoy listening to stories where ‘she’ asked ‘him’ first, I cannot even see myself looking at someone I liked fearing that they will know!
I am much calmer after lunch. Guys, please leave your ego at the door; pursue her until she knows full well that you want her. Girls are made to feel inferior enough, society does a good job of this already – don’t let her have to worry about this too.

If you’re thinking about her, send her a message. If you like how she smiles, ask her if she’d like to meet for coffee. What’s the worst thing that could happen? She’d say no. I think we have all lost someone because we didn’t want to put our feelings out there or want it to be known. Don’t let be #TheOneThatGotAway.

What are your thoughts on this? Ever hated having to lose someone because of pride? Agree with me that it’s a boy thing to make the first move? As always, feel free to let me know your thoughts on Ms. Confidential on Facebook, Google+ or Twitter and look out for more reads on! Don’t forget to hit the ‘share’ button to share this with your BFF!

[All images are courtesy of Google]


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