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Last Man Down

Brace yourself – this will not go down easily.
Somehow, it’s that time in the year. Not for the Father Christmas to don his ‘reds’, but for people to get ‘red alerts’ all across social media as engagements are announced, babies are popped, and image of babies are made crawl all over your Facebook feed. You resolve that this too shall pass.
Just because you’re fine being single AF, most normal people don’t agree – there’s Tinder, Grindr, and a stream of other Apps that make dating life on Earth easier. That’s not for you and you know that.
Today I wanted to talk about the times when your BFF gets into a relationship and you transition from the ‘Apple of her Eye’ to the third wheel; it’s a slow transition, but I am sure everyone’s been there at some point. Let’s talk about this, shall we?

1.       Boomerang:
They’re no longer available 24/7 and you know that their constant ‘online’ status on WhatsApp is because of a certain someone. You can compile a hilarious Boomerang® 5-second clips and you don’t get the reaction intended.

2.       Delightful Daze:
Even if you do hang out with them, they secretly gaze at their phones and smile surreptitiously. 
Here you are expostulating on how you missed a 50% off sale at Reebok and their reactions are, ‘Hmm… yeah?’

3.       Rest-Rant:
You see dining review of new restaurants that have just opened in Colombo – you cannot wait to try it out, but now you realize that your newly-coupled friend may like to try out the restaurant with ‘him’.

4.       Moooove Out:
The same principle applies to movies as well. You spend weeks planning the perfect movie date; you order pizza and serve a generous portion of ice cream and you enjoy the movie. 
Your BFF seems to know when to anticipate the good parts and doesn’t insist on pausing the movie during loo breaks and suddenly it dawns on you that she’s seen it before. With her special person. <Rolls eyes> I don’t know if it hurts more because of the spoilers or that you have been replaced.

5.       Twin Towers:
You: ‘LBD on Friday?’
Her: ‘I’ll let you know tomorrow’
You: ‘Decided yet?’
Her: ‘I’ll let you know tomorrow’
You: ‘I need to leave home in six minutes?’
Her: ‘I’ll let you know..”
Suspicious enough, the duo turns up wearing similar blues.
You’ve lost her. She doesn’t want to twin with you because she is doing the ‘nastay’ with him.

6.       Pros at Pics:
Remember that super-cute profile picture you both shared from last year? When you were leaner and she was yours? 
Yes, well that changed into a picture of her posing with ‘the precious’. It doesn’t get easier, but there’s always voodoo.


7.       La-Dee-Lah:
Slowly, but surely, along with the changing profile picture comes a stream of selfies of their food, their long drives, their feet, what he's bought her, what she's cooking for him, and you weep silently. 
These are the very things you swore you wouldn't do as a couple. You turn a blind eye to these incriminating posts.

 8.       Couple Trap:
Little do you realize it, but your BFF gets sucked into a whirlpool of other couple friends. Unlike you, they are on the same page in terms of relationships and have similar interests; i.e., what do we wear for the company ball? Where do we invest our money? 
Where are your joint bank accounts? What are the couple workout classes you follow?
 Suddenly, everything is ‘We’ and ‘Us’, and you want to ask who these people are!
When you are alone, you’re tempted to say, ‘Relax, it’s just the two of us – you don’t have to pretend anymore’, but looks like the joke is on you.

9.        Bratty-Tatty:
Since you’ve complained to her a few times over, they now insist that you tag along.
Their intentions: Kind and good
Your behavior: Brat, Level 1 million

For those reading, No, I have not been dumped by my BFF. But, I can only imagine that this is what single girls go through every time their Better Halves find their Halves. Being dumped by a BFF is so much worse than being dumped by a guy. What do you think? Is this you now? Have you been in this situation yourself? Hit the 'share' button and let me know what your thoughts are on Ms. Confidential live on Facebook, Google+ or Twitter and look out for more reads on!
[All images are courtesy of Google]


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