Isn't it funny how everyone seems to think that just because you're single, everything is agreeable to you? They even assume that just because you're single you've tied orgies, skinny dipping, and streaking. I had to take a moment to clarify that being single doesn't necessarily mean that you lose out on all your social values as well. I'm on a rigid black coffee and dates binge, and the fibre is doing some strange, strange things to me. I thought I'd look at the "atrocities" single women face daily and encourage them to keep saying 'no'.
1. The really hot guy at the office cocktail is being very decent until he decides he could get more action elsewhere and totally ditches you. As much as the attention was flattering, you're much better off in the toilet cubicle scrolling through social media. When their company leaves them, they are most likely to come crawling in to resume their conversation when they've been ditched. #B*tchPlease
2. You're trying your best to move on, but your pesky Ex won't let you. From creating multiple profiles to stalk you on social media to telling people he is still with you, you have all the right to tell your Ex 'no' even though you've been together for eight years. He swears he will change, but you swore to yourself that garbage stays out.
3. It's bad enough that you have to deal with your own Ex, but when your best friend's Ex becomes slightly looney in saying he wanted you all along, you have two letters, one syllable, for him 'No'.
4. Some people are really happy on their own and they don't even have to bother convincing you or anyone else. You've got Ferrero Rocher, bath bombs, and pizza to keep yo safe. So, if and when someone does offer to hook you up, instead of squirming around and mumbling maybe, you're free to say 'No' - unless it's Prince Harry.
5. Boss becoming a tad bit lecherous than before? N-O.
6. If you haven't been on a date in aeons, there shouldn't be anyone who reminds you of this and pressures you to get back in the dating scene fearing you might 'forget' how it's done. Trust me, Honey, as much as you never lose touch shoving a cupcake into your gut, you don't lose your touch with dating. You could be rusty, but there's nothing a little WhatsApp conversation cannot mend. Use the little word 'No' if and when required.
7. You don't have to accept his Facebook friend request if you don't want to. Delete and block exist for this mere reason.
8. As someone in my thirties, I don't understand how people 'party' all night long anymore. I have trouble trying to stifle my yawns anything past 11 PM. When your friends insist that you come and have "fuuuhn" and you know it's going to end up with them being trashed at 9 PM, and all you want to do is binge watch The Simpsons, just say 'no' or make up an excuse about how your house has been swarmed by bees.
9. Have you had times where people assume you've decided to 'let go' just because you couldn't be bothered with your seven step makeup routine on a Monday? Makeup takes effort. It takes dedication and flawlessness. And, of course, time which you have precious little on a Monday morning. This could also be in the form of "Have you quit the gym?" - you can provide a full account of your choices, but Darling, just opt to tell them that it's really none of their business unless they're willing to pay your rent and half of your electricity bill.
10. Whether you're single, married, divorced, or swept in a mé·nage à trois, no one can tell you what you can or cannot eat. If someone quips in their opinion that you can 'catch' someone if you just lost a few kilos - you have permission to vomit on that vile being. Just hit them with projectile intestinal stuff. "NO", you tell them, "I will eat as I damn well please". Unless they're cooking, carrying, or laying horizontally with you, this should not be bothersome to them.
These are just ten instances, but I'm sure single women all over face a multitude of issues that they feel that they have no choice but agree to. You're single, not a leper - go and live!
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[All images are courtesy of Google]
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