It's the same reason why we eat an entire 24-pack of KitKats. It's the same reason why we spend Rs. 25,000 on perfume when we're flat broke. It's also the very reason we decide to take a nap when we have exams around the corner. We know it's bad for us. Sometimes as sane, wise female beings, we naturally avert to the 'bad' (reaches out to the second box of KitKats).
Now that I've crossed over to the eighth month with The Boyfriend, I've come to truly appreciate that theory that 'Right' comes to you when you treat yourself right. Let that sink in. For us to date trash, we must understand it's quite possible we feel like trash - hence the attraction. Today I thought I'd look at why we attract F*ckboys, this includes lessons I learned as well those around me.
1. Double ‘No’:
You probably feel low; maybe you've gained a few extra kilos due to taking time off the gym or work-related stress. Maybe the usual hot guys who kept you company leave the WhatsApp conversations at the blue double tick. Your emotions resonate with your actions, and you settle for Mr Douche-ious at the club who doesn't even grace your company with a condom.
2. Bird of a feather, flock together:
What I really had in mind was a word that rhymes with ‘flock’.
You have 'friends' around you who encourage casual stuff that does nothing uplifting. Months after you realise that they walk away scathe-free, but you end up with an STD.
3. Move On, not In:
You haven't really moved on from your Ex. Trust me on this, Honey, sponging off another relationship - least of all a F*ckboy, you're bound to end up in a bigger tangle, until you're a ginormous snowball of lovelorn and lust. Not really the best way about it, if you’re trying to stick to those resolutions.
You're trying to teach an Ex a lesson. Ha Ha Ha! Are you trying to teach him a lesson by having a serious of casual relationships? You think that D in your V is going to angst him to come back to you? Nope, you're just adding more reasons and justifying his decision. IF this is your decision, purely fuelled by your emotions, it's totes up to you, but don’t let this be revenge.
5. A Season of Change:
Change in lifestyle doesn't mean change in life. You could be tired of being 'you'. If you're bored with being, you, Honey, you get a haircut. Or, highlights. Not be a human example of how many men can get 'in' a woman in the least amount of time.
6. More on ‘Change’:
You think you can change him. Not happening. If this is his attitude now, this is him forever. The only thing that will change in a man in a relationship is his (ahem) endurance, waistline, and his incessant gaming habits.
7. Mary Poppins:
You are a tad naive. If you think that him having a wife and child at home, a full-time part-timer (note the paradox), and him sending you 2 texts a day, and that too being provocative is ‘love’, you need to start with having your head boxed in a few times. I am willing to help.
You're getting desperate. Forty and frigid? Don't kid yourself - the best is yet to come. At 31, I have friends who have a few offspring aged 6 years and under. Did it worry me a few months ago? Yes. Did I give in? No. Should you? Absolutely not. Do NOT trust those Facebook posts of love and shmuck, it’s a trap.
With that, I've reached the end of 8 reasons why we (normal, sane, clear-thinking women) fall for the least of humanity. There are so much of body-positivity messages out there - social media it doing it's utmost to portray that belly-tyres as okay. Cellulite is normal; you don't need a three in thigh gap. But, what do we do about emotional-positivity? You see, sadly, here's no one else to hold responsible but yourself. There's approximately half of 2017 left, and once you start "shedding" these unwanted parasites, you will feel empowered, you will feel better, and that, is a promise.
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