Looking through my Instagram feed spanning close to five years now, I realised that it’s a tool that I primarily use to salivate over food, screenshot inspirational quotes, stalk IG-famous dogs, and serves as my numero uno platform for my CID work. But, this could be just me. I did also notice how some others take to Instagram to inform the world at large, of their affections towards their Significant Others. Romance intensifies with a splash of Clarendon, Valencia, or Juno filters, and let’s not even talk about how the saturation, brightness controls, and shadows, do wonders to make an average selfie look incredible.
It also occurred to me that just like others I use this social media platform for specific tasks, just like other Instagram. This inspired me to compile all the reasons why I use/used it!
1 Stalking an Ex:
Oh, you’re completely over him, but Sri Lanka being the island it is, you’re bound to run into him at a Big Match or Bradby, or when you’ve stepped out the kade for roast paan looking mildly bewildered with stringy hair and panda eyes. You can never be too sure – but curiosity gets the best of you and you find yourself holding your phone extra gently (you might even sit up for this) so that you don't accidentally double-tap a picture from 127 weeks ago.
2 Stalking new Love interests:
This could be yours, your BFFs, or your sibling’s love interest. It could be completely voluntary or a ‘paid job’, but your Sri Lankan instinct worries you into going after your prey. From their first few hazy, pixilated landscape photos, to their most recent DSLRs, you know where they've been. Thanks to tagging, you know who their friends, their preferred brand of ‘beverage', and the number of tattoos on their body. Knowledge is power; knowledge means you know of significant events in their lives in chronological order; knowledge is also the many screenshots that carefully tucked away in a password protected folder in your phone.
3 Signaling new Love Interests:
If you’ve just recently moved from In a Relationship to Single, Instagram presents to you a delish Smörgåsbord of options. Since you're not really adding a 'friend' per se, you could get away with genuinely being interested in his architectural photos. Some guys aren't too shy to use the DM option as well.
4 Signalling that you’ve Moved On:
If you know that you're bound to be stalked when you are constantly harassed by someone who doesn't understand the meaning of 'no', posting of your new love interest can truly mean that it's an end to an era. It doesn’t hurt to flaunt your SO along with the photos of your new BMW parked down Rosmead Place.
5 Gym Goals:
No Instagram profile is complete without the mandatory gym selfies. Let's not forget to pay tribute to those who have time for a full makeup routine just to sweat.
6 Turning to Friendsville:
The deeper the friendship, the fewer the selfies is what I've come to believe in recent months. However, this could be me again – so, this is an ideal platform to flaunt your nights, coffee, or high tea with the Hoi Polloi of Colombo.
7 Let's Get Talking:
Instagram, for me, is a vital source of communication. By simply tagging your BFF, you get the message loud and clear. Prior to The Boyfriend, circa 2016, my friends would do me a world of good and tag me in photos of Nick Bateman, dogs, and cheeseburgers. Minus the former, this still continues to date.
Instagram has shaped the Sri Lankan community. Home-based bakers have flourished as have their bosoms; online retailers are ready for global domination, and here you are salivating at pictures of cheesecake. Aren’t you glad that platforms like Instagram allow you to do so much?
Don't forget to hit the ‘share' button and send this to your squad.
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